Editor’s Pick
- Autoblow A.I.
- Best Blowjob Machine
- Sleeves can be interchanged
- Industrial strength motor
- Does NOT require batteries
- Hands free blowjob machine
- Sleeves are easy to clean
- Kiiroo Onyx+
- Best Blowjob Masturbator
- Vibrating Sex Toy
- USB rechargeable
- 100% Hands free
- Sliding scale of speed
- Easy to clean and store
- F1s Developer's Kit
- Best Blowjob Toy
- Hands Free
- No Batteries Needed
- Powerful Motor
- Body-Safe Silicone Sleeve
- Easy to clean
This is a complex question which requires a complex and intricate answer; many angles must be considered.
As such, I have broken this response down into three separate categories below: I own between 0 and 6 blowjob toys, I own between 7 and 44 blowjob toys, and I own 45 or more blowjob toys. Find the section that pertains to your situation and read it through.
I Own Between 0 and 6 Male Blowjob Toys
You are definitely not at risk of owning too many male blowjob toys – in fact, you may own too few! Consider exploring products made by the same companies as some of your favorite toys through a reliable online store.
You should also consider trying a completely new style of toy, because many users who are satisfied with the first type of blowjob toy that they buy often fall into a trance of sorts, never knowing what other styles of toys bring to the table – more importantly, never knowing the pleasure that these other types of toys can provide.
I’ve taken a more definitive stance on your classification now, my reading friends: go purchase a new and exciting device immediately, even if it bumps you up into the next ownership category (or the one after that, for you chain-buyers).
I Own Between 7 and 44 Male Blowjob Toys
You are golden, my friend – absolutely golden.
Owning between 7 and 44 male blowjob toys is ideal, for a number of reasons. These reasons aren’t overly complex, but basically relate to a diversity of sensations and pleasures, the ability to choose which type of sensation and pleasure you’d like to enjoy at any given time, and the ability to explore male blowjob toy combinations that couldn’t be enjoyed otherwise (there are a ton of online guides on this from male sexperts more adventurous and daring than me).
Also by owning between 7 and 44 male blowjob toys, you have successfully demonstrated that you appreciate the art and sophistication behind today’s devices; you’re not just a random user looking for some quick pleasure, but an appreciator of the finest products that the male blowjob toy industry has to offer.
And the mark of a good toy owner is appreciation. Well done, my friend. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have the less-than-desirable task of addressing those who own 45 or more male blowjob toys and scolding them.
I Own 45 or More Male Blowjob Toys
Sit down, shut your goddamned mouth, and listen to what I have to say, son.
If you’re here right now, it’s because you have turned your passion and interest into a full-blown obsession. Today’s male blowjob toys are definitely awesome, but you have most certainly taken advantage of this awesomeness. I’m guessing that the cable has gone off because you’ve forgotten to (or have been unable to) pay the bill, or you’ve missed a rent or mortgage payment or two – all to fuel your need for THE BEST BLOWJOB TOYS.
I know you’re crying now, and that’s fine – let it all out. You aren’t a bad person, you just did a bad thing (and a bunch more bad things after that). Take a step towards recovery by selling all of the unopened toys that you have around (and I know there are many of these). To find the cure, remember that your favorite male blowjob toy – the very best device that you have – was crafted with care and intricacy. By using other toys, you’re not only betraying your favorite device and its creators, but forcing your body to enjoy a lesser pleasure.
It seems pretty selfish when broken down, doesn’t it?
Go on and get started with the recovery. I’m not happy with what you’ve done, but I’m happy you’ve taken steps to remedy your mistakes.
There you have it, friends; it is possible to own too many male blowjob toys. But if you take proper precautions and stay loyal to your favorite brands – while respecting the value of the dollars which you have earned and are spending – you should be fine. Good luck!
Oh, and a brief note to the multi-toy owners who went on to own a major blowjob-toy company, or those who are planning to do so: I’m sorry. Your brilliance demolishes my idiocy, and that is why you had the vision to find a place in an awesome industry, while I am just a lowly writer!
