Blowjob Guide: He's Uncircumcised What Should I Do?

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Over the last several months I have received many emails asking how to give a blowjob to a guy who isn't circumcised. Another reader asked me this today in the comments and so I figured it was time to continue the fine series on blowjobs that has been so popular.

Before I go any further I should remind everyone that -sigh- I haven't been around an uncircumcised dick any dick at all* in a while, but not to worry! I have a sexcellent memory [Tee heehee! Okay, sorry, the extent of my lame-ness tickles me pink sometimes. Oh COME ON you totally chuckled, I know I'm not the only goober around here]. Some skills are so entrenched in your essence that even the longest of droughts can't shake them. Fortunately for all of us, sucking dick is one of my skills that falls in this category. All other such skills are still to be found.

I've come across five or six uncut ones in my day (mmm, I do love doing the foreigners-the accent and the TONGUE, babe. If you haven't done someone from across the sea, it begs your immediate investigation. Then you can try out your new uncut blowjob skills and report back with O's of joy). The foreskin was never really that much of an issue. I've had many friends who've gone all of their dating lives without seeing a guy who still had his foreskin intact, or maybe seen a single specimen. The population of uncircumcised guys varies largely by country. From what I've heard/read/fucked, America has the highest (non-religious) circumcision rate in the world. Huh. Bummer. I don't see what the big deal is either way. A dick is a dick and I DO LOVE ME SOME DICK. Isn't that what really matters?

Here are some important things to get you started before I direct you to a Foreskin 101 link

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With nearly all the uncircumcised guys I've been with I didn't notice right away that they were because they were already hard, at which point they look nearly identical to a circumcised dick because the shaft has "grown into" the skin. There's a lot of skin that contracts and stretches as you stroke it.

It only looks different from a circumcised penis when flaccid, and frankly don't all dicks look kind of really weird when they're like that? All the more reason to do your best to keep him hard. (And now you can tell people that IS what she said. BOOYAH.) Typically the foreskin is a darker color than the penis itself, which you can see when the the head peeks out a little. Eventually the foreskin will pull back and give you easy access, but that's a few paragraphs away.

What it feels like… did any of you ever play with that incredibly squishy and phallic toy they sold at The Discovery Store? It was a plastic roll-bag thing that turned inside out and it was about the size of a thick dick. [I'd Google it for you but I wouldn't know what the fuck to enter for search terms.] I don't know what the purpose of this thing was other than to teach a kid how to jack off. Vital instruction, but not something you would expect to buy in teal or aqua blue with bits of glitter inside (for all the little boys who will grow up to be drag queens one day?). It feels exactly like that toy from The Discovery Store. Smooth motion, taut yet loose-just like a foreskin. The hand grip is different, looser. I think it's easier actually because there's less friction. All you have to do is make sure you don't pull the skin back too far away from the head when you're stroking the shaft and you're platinum from there. [Gold? Fuck gold. We're all Texas Platinum Pussy in these here parts, and you'll be gotdamned if you ever forget that.]

The more erect the penis, the more taut the skin. This means when you begin jacking him off with your hand, there will be a noticeable tightening of the skin as it grows hard and also while you stroke up and down. Just go slow the first few times as you test how far to stretch the skin without going too far. Not all guys have the same length of foreskin relative to the erect dick, but in most cases the skin "rolls up" over the head as you stroke up and down. This can look strange at first, but that's what it's supposed to look like. If you're not sure if you're doing it right, look at his face: is he in happy blow-my-wad land or does he look like he's about to cry?

The foreskin is very sensitive, and in a different way than the head is. This is where you can really work your magic during a blowjob, because the foreskin is very receptive to every touch, movement, temperature change, massage, and grip. WORK IT. But the extreme sensitivity also means you have to be that much more careful about teeth and hand pressure. For guidance, pay attention to his reactions (a HINT, guys: the occasional moan or "oh yes" is very helpful and it reminds us you're not dead. Speak the fuck up, especially when she's got your dick in her mouth). If you're unsure of how much pressure/touching is too much, it's better to start too soft and gradually build up. If he yelps, that means you're probably not going to get any more that night.

Once you've got the hand-motion down, the actual sucking off part is very similar to how you would do it for a circumcised guy. Take it easy at first as you learn how much sensitivity and pressure is right, from there the oral technique is the same.

My first time was with a British guy who told me with great pride "foreskins are fantastic, you bloody Americans and your funny willies cut the damn things off." He was the perfect guy for my first uncircumcised blowjob because he had a great attitude and he took the time to show me how it works, how he liked it. If it's your first time, be honest with the guy and ask him to help you learn your way around: watch how he strokes it, then you try with his hand on top of yours, then go on your own. You can get the hang of it pretty quick-and it's much easier if you start out eager to learn instead of being scared or nervous. Come on, have you forgotten how incredibly weird the act of sex is? Fucking hell, you have to have a sense of humor or else everyone out there would have called it quits at the first queef, squirt, or pubic floss incident.

To uncircumcised guys of the world:

Sadly, there are many people who think a penis is funny-looking to begin with, especially when it comes in a turtleneck. Some may change their minds if open-minded, some won't. Many are fine with it from day one. Then there are the foreskin-virgin gems who scour the internet looking for advice on how to do this because they want to please their new man, even if that means emailing a complete stranger and asking personal questions. Please lend a guiding hand the first time for those who are new to the experience.

To all the determined students out there, I applaud you for your efforts, as do all the uncircumcised men of the world. I hope this helped to enlighten you on the glory of the foreskin. And if I'm not getting laid, I want to do my best to make sure other people are. Damn bastards.