Is it difficult to find the best blowjob robot for my needs?

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Editor's Pick - Best Male Sex Toys

Autoblow 2+ XT

Autoblow 2 XT Blowjob Machine
  • Sleeves can be interchanged Sleeves can be interchanged
  • Industrial strength motor Industrial strength motor
  • Does NOT require batteries Does NOT require batteries
  • Hands free blowjob machine Hands free blowjob machine
  • Sleeves are easy to clean Sleeves are easy to clean
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Kiiroo Onyx 2

Kiiroo Onyx 2
  • Vibrating blowjob machine Vibrating blowjob machine
  • USB rechargeable USB rechargeable
  • 100% Hands free 100% Hands free
  • Sliding scale of speed Sliding scale of speed
  • Easy to clean and store Easy to clean and store
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With the help of a seasoned expert like myself, no friend. No it isn't.

The first step to finding a blowjob robot that's perfect for you and your needs is knowing what exactly it is that you want, in terms of general sensations and pleasure. Take a look at the four major types of sex machines to determine which is most appealing to you.

Read on to find about the four major types of sex machines, cadet.

Blowjob Machine

Vibrating blowjob robots, as their title suggests, vibrate during use. Combining state-of-the-art vibration features with top-notch materials and designs makes for one hell of a pleasurable experience, and if you're looking for sensations that cannot be experienced with real-life sexual experiences, vibrating devices are for you.

Realistic blowjob robots are, also as their title suggests, completely realistic, and modeled after real-life counterparts. This type of device is generally molded from real-world models, once again, to allow for the maximum realism, and is also crafted using cyberskin - or a skin-like material that feels very close to that of humans. Anyone interested in a device that will attempt to replicate real-life sexual experiences should consider a blowjob robot.

Stroking blowjob robots often require some effort from the user, hence the "stroking" component of their name. Nevertheless, these products use incredibly high-quality materials and designs to provide users with the maximum possible pleasure, and are actually preferred by many because their speed and usage can be easily controlled to allow for just the right sensations. If you love the traditional stroking form, but are interested in something different (and much more enjoyable) than your hand, a stroking blowjob robot is for you.

Pumping blowjob robots are designed to create sensations which simply cannot be experienced elsewhere. They can pump to a variable speed based upon the inputs of the user, and also grip the user's unit to a varying tightness. By producing up to three-hundred pumps per minute, these devices do well to "blow" many users' minds. If you're looking for hair-blowing action that a human cannot replicate, a pumping blowjob robot is for you.

It's also worth noting that these types of blowjob robots can come in hybrid variations. For instance, a product that is realistic in build can also be equipped with an optional vibration feature, whereas strokers can also vibrate, and so on and so forth. These hybrid products are great for anyone interested in something truly unique that will remain fun and exciting to use for even longer than many other devices.

Of course, there are also some pitfalls to many of these blowjob robot types and products - specifically the ultra-popular realistic type. Take this story about my old friend who bit off more than he could chew as proof.

Enjoy the comedy of this story, but heed its warning as well.

This friend was always adventurous. He liked to live on the edge, to explore, to be excited.

And after he got married, he got bored as hell, needless to say. Within 8 hours of tying the knot, he had already ordered a blowjob robot - a realistic model. Being as sly and calculating as he was, my friend snuck in uses whenever he could. He loved the pleasure provided by the device, but more pressingly, he loved the excitement of its use.

But one day, when he got just a bit too careless, things took a turn for the worst. Believing that his wife was away for the day, he began jamming with his realistic robot. The sound from the computer speakers was blaring, and he didn't hear his wife enter; she was returning home early with a surprise.

She found him and screamed; she was shocked to find him with another woman! He tried to explain that this wasn't what it looked like, and that his blowjob robot was actually a robot, and not an actual person. Now crying, his wife wasn't buying it; the product was so realistic that it had her fooled. She released a balloon that she was carrying: "It's a Boy!". She had planned to reveal that she was pregnant, but now she ran to her room in tears.

A little bit later, things had calmed down, and she agreed to speak to her husband again. He told her how sorry he was, and that they would never have to experience an awful surprise like this again; he was done with excitement for good.

"Well, what's one more bad surprise?" she asked stoically. "The baby isn't yours."

Aggravated and shocked , my friend demanded answers. This evident cheating of his wife wasn't the same as what he was doing; he ordered his realistic blowjob robot off of the internet!

"I ordered my man on the internet too." she replied. "Around the same time that you stopped having sex with me on our honeymoon."

The moral of the story: select your blowjob robot type with care, and don't forget about your woman!